The next phase of my life is hurtling towards me. I graduate in April, then I'll get a grown up job and move to a new city. I don't know where I'm moving yet, I have a vague idea of what I want to do, and who knows how I will be able to afford a place to live.
It's hard to imagine a life not dictated by classes, essays, and the five books I have to read simultaneously. However, I'm ready to get out. Exhaustion has taken hold that I can't shake because I have to read one more chapter.
I'm almost done. This semester is halfway over. But I'm still afraid I won't know how to live a life not centered around school.
My parents took me and Duncan to GR Noir for a ticketed event. We drank wine paired with
food while listening to world class Jazz musicians.
A week after, my friend Anna was celebrating her twenty-second birthday. Because she wanted to feel like a classy adult, we went back to the jazz and wine bar along with our boyfriends.
As we ate our charcuterie board and tasted our wine flights, I could feel my future bleed into the present. I felt like an adult—whatever that may be.
Later that week, I went out to dinner with my Kung Fu friends. One member of the group, Sam, is leaving us. She's going to work on boat crews in Florida. As we sat in the Chinese restaurant down the street from my childhood home, we reminisced about how we met, what we had learned, and laughed at the cocktail called "Sex on the Driveway."
As we raised our glasses to our friendships, I got the feeling of impending adulthood again.
Is this what it is? Making friends, loosing them, and desperately trying to hold on to the ones you've somehow let go of.
If I am in fact right, I'm ready to live it. I'm ready to go to different bars, try different food, keep, and make friends. I know I will miss school, but I'll miss Sam too, that doesn't mean we're not ready to move on.